Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Real Madrid v Barcelona – live!

Easy tiger. Photograph: Stringer/Spain/Reuters

The Sopranos is on Sky Atlantic at 9pm by the way, just in case Mourinho is putting the choke-hold on this game. I've recorded it, there'll be hell to pay if anyone in my house deletes it.

"When you win easily most weeks, you don't have to play at full pelt all game?" says Paul Chandler.

"Surely not the same Barça XI quite *all* the time?" says Charles Antaki. "They put out effectively a reserve side when playing the return leg of the Osasuna game (in the round before this one) - they still won 1-2, mind." Well yes, but they were 4-0 up already.

"So this year Barca will try to beat Real with Pinto in goal and win Champions League with three defenders & no strikers," says Roman Hosoff. "If they succeed, next year we might even see slightly bored Guardiola joining Busquets and Fabregas in midfield." And with Messi blindfolded.

"Maybe we should revise our thinking and agree that its possible to simply have too much of a thing," suggests David Flynn. "Since Jose has decided to merely kick barca off the field, the majority of recent classicos have been anything but good." Indeed - last spring's mini-series suffered because of the suffocating nature of four games in 16 days.

Although Chris Brock wouldn't mind that. "Huh," he says. "Give me a diet of sprouts over that fiddly foreign muck with garlic and eyeballs and such like any day. It's the third round of the FA Cup! In England. And a local Derby. And you're following some game in Spain. Where's your sense of patriotism? Regards (tongue firmly in cheek)." The magic of the cup reigns in Spain tonight.

"Usual Mourinho setting his stall out for a 0-0 draw at home," says Steve Waine, and seeing as I'm under no contractual obligation to make this stuff interesting, he may well be right. "Boring," he concludes.

Here's another stat courtesy of Infostrada. "Lionel Messi will play his 300th match for Barcelona in all competitions," writes Ernst Wark. "He has scored 213 goals including 13 in 16 El Clásicos in all competitions." The Stoke line is now banned, isn't it? You can't use it. If you do, you have to watch Wolves v Birmingham.

On the Real Madrid bench: Mesut Ozil, Kaka, Callejon, Esteban Granero.

In the Real Madrid team: Lassana Diarra, Pepe and Hamit Altintop.

Conclusion: This may not be pretty. How do you say park the bus in Spanish?

Pre-match emails:

"Why is it that Barcelona can field substantially the same XI time after time ('Barcelona are as expected'), while EPL teams are constantly changing squads from one match to the next?" says Paul Szabo. "Is it injury-related? The need (or not) to change strategy for different opponents?" Would you bother changing this team too much?

"I knew you were Steinberg without even looking because "playstation" is your frame of reference for toys that need to be put away," says Adam Nelson. "Such a young rapscallion." I don't know why I said that actually, I've never owned one. I'm using my imagination. Look at me, like a real writer!

The first email. "I wouldn't worry about getting too much of a good thing," says Robin Hazlehurst. "Wolves are playing Birmingham in the cup replay at the same time. Five minutes of that during the half time break here is like a three-week diet of sprouts and can justify you gorging on liquid chocolate football for the second half of this game." That tie has been on television twice now. I've switched over to the first Copa del Rey game, in which it is Athletic Bilbao 2-0 Mallorca.

A frightening statistic: Carlos Puyol has not lost any of his last 50 games for Barcelona. That's 42 wins and eight draws. He's bettered Arsenal's Invincibles all on his own.

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