Monday, January 30, 2012

Pass notes, No 3,115: Brooklyn

Brooklyn Bridge. Photograph: Jumper

Age: Around 360.

Appearance: Hipsterville, USA.

Meaning what, exactly? Hordes of hat-wearing poseurs raiding racks of clothes at 5th Ave thrift stores – and wood-walled coffee places where would-be intellectuals chatter over piped-in Iron and Wine. Although admittedly, that's mostly Williamsburg.

What's Williamsburg? Brooklyn's capital of cool: the land of the indoor shades-wearer, where the ironic man is king, kitsch is classy and classy kitsch and somehow, don't ask me why, but somehow it just makes sense to hand over $150 to a vintage store for a ceramic Minnie Mouse. Oh, and apparently barmen there are wearing their hair in buns now.

Sounds awful. And therefore ironically really great.

No, just awful. Whatevs. Clearly you just don't "get" it.

Clearly. What's the rest of Brooklyn like, anyway? As diverse as you'd expect from the borough that brought the world Jay Z, Jerry Seinfeld, Woody Allen and Larry David.

So it's hipsters, Jay Z and Jewish comedians? Basically, yep.

That's not really all that varied. Nope.

And what have the people of Brooklyn done to merit a pass notes? Oh, that. Well, some of them are going to start powering their homes with human poo.

I'm sorry? They're going to power their homes with human poo.

As in the stuff that comes out of people? Yes, that human poo.

Is that ironically cool now? Probably, but that's not why they're doing it.

Why are they? Because it's good economics – and not bad for the environment either. Human faeces have always produced small amounts of methane gas, but engineers have discovered a way to ramp that up to small industrial levels by heating waste in special "eggs". Brooklyn residents are to be among the first to contribute. If the scheme works according to plan, the borough's Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant will soon be producing enough power to heat 2,500 homes.

Do say: "They're making money from old crap."

Don't say: "That's vintage shopping for you."

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