We may have stumbled on a panacea for Test cricket. Crowds for this form of the game are dwindling. In Abu Dhabi admission for the Test is free and on Friday, when the local population have a day off work, the grassy banks and the main stands filled up wonderfully.
It felt like a proper Test match; the crowd reacted noisily to every twist and turn. The players were happy to have an audience; so, too, the organisers and especially happy were the television companies relaying this Test around the world. Their product is immeasurably enhanced when there is a decent crowd. Sometimes the empty stands can be kept out of the picture by a canny director, but when a boundary catch is taken in front of a thousand empty bucket seats, there is no escaping the grim reality.
Since the all-important revenue from Tests comes so predominantly from television money this free admission policy might be beneficial beyond the United Arab Emirates – especially in the subcontinent. The television companies may even increase their contracts a little to compensate for any losses in gate money.
Fortunately for the England and Wales Cricket Board such a strategy is not yet necessary at Lord's.
The locals here are intrigued and a tad blase about all these international sportsmen dropping by. The golf tournament down the road is being contested by some of the biggest names in the world. Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy and Luke Donald are there, but the same sort of principle is being applied as at the cricket stadium. It is not free but admission to watch these giants of the game is 50 dirham – about £9. And there is still plenty of space.
In Abu Dhabi they can afford free entry; in Abu Dhabi they seem to be able to afford anything. For example here may be the ideal place to build a cricket stadium with a roof. Someone would be delighted to design it and any logistical hazard would soon be cast aside. After all, they can outstrip Canute in these parts. If necessary – or rather if desired – they have shown themselves quite capable of moving the sea, which is clever, though a touch extravagant.
Abu Dhabi is meant to be the more sober, elder statesman in these parts as opposed to Dubai, where look‑at-me, gleaming bling is the order of the day. Yet even on Yas Island on the edge of Abu Dhabi, where most of us are staying, there is a hotel within the confines of the new Formula One track, which is constructed in the shape of a whale. Yes, a whale.
If they can do that, they can cobble together a roof the size of a cricket field. But there is one problem with a stadium with a roof: it never rains here. For several professional cricketers of my acquaintance such aridity would be a major downside of playing cricket in the UAE on a regular basis.
Usually the absence of rain is regarded as a plus and there have been significant plusses in this series. The pitches have been more interesting than anticipated. After all, the Dubai Test was over in three days. We were warned about the docility of Abu Dhabi, yet the match was over in four. Pakistan, quite legitimately, have been able to enjoy home conditions. England, meanwhile, have batted like men in alien territory, as if on another planet rather than just another continent.
At the International Cricket Council's Academy in Dubai all sorts of pitches are available in the net area. So it is perfectly possible that they could be bouncier and more seamer-friendly in the middle at Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Here there is the knowhow and the resources to keep dropping them in. If Australia somehow had to host a series in the UAE they could play on a Gabba pitch.
As for the players and the reporters of this series life, however surreal, can be cosier than when on a proper tour of Pakistan. Here it is possible to invest in an alcoholic drink in one of the countless swish hotels – and I use the word "invest" advisedly. In the ideal world it would be better to experience the colour and contrasts of Pakistan, but with the dire circumstances in that country, the UAE has provided us with a fine substitute.
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