Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Preventing the G-B Relationship

 

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful



Amatullah Islam





Preventing the G-B Relationship



Zina (fornication) has become a commonplace occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how such a situation can occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under 'lock and key'. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of "no boyfriend" when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?



The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.



In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahram (non-Mahram is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.



At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that those pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or 'an affair'. It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, sexual diseases - the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (r.a.a) related that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said,

«لا يحل دم امرئ مسلم ، يشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأني رسول الله ، إلا بإحدى ثلاث :النفس بالنفس، والثيب الزاني ، والمفارق لدينه التارك للجماعة»

«The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community» [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words,

«والثيب يجلد ويرجم » «the married person who commits adultery is to be whipped and stoned» [Muslim]



But, what about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished - «البكر يجلد وينفى» «he or she is to be whipped and banished» [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: the Prophet (s.a.w) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].



At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each other company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul.



Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among people who Allah bestows mercy upon: Abu Hurairah (r.a.a) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said:

«سبعة يظلهم الله يوم القيامة في ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله : إمام عادل ، وشاب نشأ في عبادة الله ،ورجل ذكر الله في خلاء ففاضت عيناه ،ورجل قلبه معلق في المسجد ، ورجلان تحابا في الله، و رجل دعته امرأة ذات منصب و جمال إلى نفسها فقال : إني أخاف الله ،ورجل تصدق بصدقة فأخفاها حتى لا تعلم شماله ما صنعت يمينه»

«that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day (of Judgment) when there is no shade except His Shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah.» [Bukhari]



Below are more points on how to help your child, at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older; you make sure that it is put into practice.





You must teach him or her to:





1. Not to freely mix with the opposite sex.



2. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts..." [An-Noor 24:30-31], {قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ﴿٣٠﴾ وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ …﴿٣١﴾}, Transliteration: Qul Lilmu'uminīna Yaghuđđū Min 'Abşārihim Wa Yaĥfažū Furūjahum Dhālika 'Azká Lahum 'Inna Allāha Khabīrun Bimā Yaşna`ūna(30) Wa Qul Lilmu'umināti Yaghđuđna Min 'Abşārihinna Wa Yaĥfažna Furūjahunna…(31)

Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said,

«لا تتبع النظرة النظرة، فإن لك الأولى ، وليس لك الآخرة»
« ...do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second.» [Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look.

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) also said

«العينان تزنيان و زناهما النظر »

«That the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust. » [Albany, At-Tirmidhi]



3. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahrams. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) "...do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you..." [Al-Ahzab 33:32], {...فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ…}, Transliteration: Falā Takhđa`na Bil-Qawli Fayaţma`a Al-Ladhī Fī Qalbihi Marađun



4. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with t-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashion clothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim mothers covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons.



It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (s.a.w) as an example:

«كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أشد حياء من العذراء في خدرها»

Abu Said Al Khudri (r.a.a) reported that « the Prophet (s.a.w) was more shy than a virgin in her own room.» [Bukhari] If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha' Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship'.



In the next issue, Insha' Allah, we will discuss the ways in which parents can deal with the situation when they have discovered that their daughter or son is in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.

The Girlfriend - Boyfriend Relationship - Part 2

 

How to deal with a G-B Relationship?



In the last article I talked about taking preventative measures to ensure that when your child is older, he or she will not be caught in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. However, if your child is already a teenager or those methods did not work, and you are now facing this dilemma, there is still hope of rectifying it.



Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: they lock her in her room and forbid her to see the boy again. What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? She would rebel. That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home. If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy handedness, teenagers rebel!



The first step in any bridge-building is to talk. Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend.



What led to this?



There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at; is the girl's raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.



Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl's behavior?



Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a "geek".



Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends.



Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy.



Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted.



Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it; therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parents’ attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere, whereas the latter demands it from her parents.



There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up.



How to approach them



When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative ("You did this to...") and judgmental ("You are so..."), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation ("Why did you...?"). This only adds to their daughter's defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using "should", "don't" and all other negative words.



Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it ("Do you mean...?"), acknowledge it ("You feel... because...") and empathize with it ("You sound really..."). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practicing these skills.



Insecurity



Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her "bad" behaviors, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviors and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter. Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her).



Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam's position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, mother of Prophet Eesa (a.s), is one great example.



Don't forget about the boys



Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironical that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But when it is the son who is in a similar or worst position, the same parents are complaisant. Feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honor of the family.



Honor needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honor. If the father or mother loses his or her honor then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honor and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebels. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.

Have You Ever Tasted Jannah?

 

By Muhammad Alshareef





In Saheeh Muslim, Ibn Masood narrates from RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam the warming story of the last man to escape Hellfire:

«His crawl away from Hellfire is filled with his face sliping into the dirt, a tremoring walk, and a fire that licks him until he finally escapes.



When he is past it, he looks back, horrified, and announces with the loudest voice, “All praise is due to Allah Who saved me from you.” Then he says, most proud, “Verily I have been rewarded with something that no one from the beginning to the end of creation has been blessed with.”



At that moment, a tree catches his eye – a tree that was commanded to be raised for him. He quickly raises his hands, “O Allah! Allow me to draw near to that tree so that I can cool off under its shade and drink from its water.”



Then Allah ta’aala calls him, “O son of Adam! I fear that if I grant you what you ask, you shall ask for more.”



“Nay, O Allah!” pleads the man and he testifies that he shall ask no more.



As the man basks in the glory of the tree, another tree is raised, one more bounteous and lush than the first. The man pleads, “O Allah! Allow me to draw near to that tree so that I can cool off under its shade and drink from its water.



Allah then says, “Did you not promise me that you would ask no more? Perhaps if I give it to you, you shall ask for yet even more.”



The man testifies that he will not, and is permitted that tree.



Just then a tree is raised near the doors of Jannah, one bigger and lusher than all the rest and the man’s heart sinks.



“O Allah, that tree, that tree. I’ll ask for nothing else.”



“Did you not promise you would ask for nothing more?”



“After that tree, yaa Allah, nothing more!”



He is permitted to draw nearer to the tree and there, as he nears the doors of Jannah, he hears the sounds of its inhabitants and he leaps, “O Allah! Enter me into Jannah!”



“O son of Adam!” Allah announces, “What shall satisfy you and finish your pleading?”



Then Allah offers, “Will it please you if I give you all the treasures and bounty of the entire world and then double it!”



The man’s smile shuts off and his eyes lock up. “My Lord, You’re the Lord of the universe…Are You mocking me?”





Ibn Masood started laughing. He said to his students, “Ask me why I’m laughing. I’m laughing because RasulAllah laughed when he told us this. And he also asked us, ‘Do you know what makes me laugh? I’m laughing for Allah’s laughter when the man said, ‘You are the lord of the universe…are you mocking me?’”



Allah then tells him, “I am not mocking you, rather I am capable of doing whatever I so wish.” Allahu Akbar!» [Reported by Muslim]

«آخر من يدخل الجنة رجل. فهو يمشي مرة ويكبو مرة. وتسفعه النار مرة. فإذا ما جاوزها التفت إليها. فقال: تبارك الذي نجاني منك. لقد أعطاني الله شيئا ما أعطاه أحدا من الأولين والآخرين. فترفع له شجرة. فيقول: أي رب! أدنني من هذه الشجرة فلأستظل بظلها وأشرب من مائها. فيقول الله عز وجل: يا ابن آدم! لعلي إن أعطيتكها سألتني غيرها. فيقول: لا. يا رب! ويعاهده أن لا يسأله غيرها. وربه يعذره. لأنه يرى ما لا صبر له عليه. فيدنيه منها. فيستظل بظلها ويشرب من مائها. ثم ترفع له شجرة هي أحسن من الأولى. فيقول: أي رب! أدنني من هذه لأشرب من مائها وأستظل بظلها. لا أسألك غيرها. فيقول: يا ابن آدم! ألم تعاهدني أن لا تسألني غيرها ؟فيقول: لعلي إن أدنيتك منها تسألني غيرها ؟فيعاهده أن لا يسأله غيرها. وربه يعذره. لأنه يرى ما لا صبر له عليه فيدنيه منها. فيستظل بظلها ويشرب من مائها. ثم ترفع له شجرة عند باب الجنة هي أحسن من الأوليين. فيقول: أي رب! أدنني من هذه لأستظل بظلها وأشرب من مائها. لا أسألك غيرها. فيقول: يا ابن آدم! ألم تعاهدني أن لا تسألني غيرها؟ قال: بلى. يا رب! هذه لا أسألك غيرها. وربه يعذره لأنه يرى ما لا صبر له عليها. فيدنيه منها. فإذا أدناه منها، فيسمع أصوات أهل الجنة، فيقول: أي رب! أدخلنيها. فيقول: يا ابن آدم! ما يصريني منك؟ أيرضيك أن أعطيك الدنيا ومثلها معها ؟قال: يا رب! أتستهزئ مني وأنت رب العالمين ". فضحك ابن مسعود فقال: ألا تسألوني مم أضحك؟ فقالوا: مم تضحك؟ قال: هكذا ضحك رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم. فقالوا: مم تضحك يا رسول الله ؟قال " من ضحك رب العالمين حين قال: أتستهزئ مني وأنت رب العالمين؟ فيقول: إني لا أستهزئ منك، ولكني على ما أشاء قادر".»

Turn to almost every page of the Qur’an and you’ll find mention of Jannah. Jannah…have you ever seen it? Have you ever smelt it? Have you ever touched it? Have you ever tasted it?



RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam taught us that in Jannah there is that “which no eye has witnessed, no ear has heard, and that which has never been imagined by any human.” Recite the verse if you wish:

And no soul knows what has been hidden for them of comfort of the eye (satisfaction) as reward for what they used to do [As-Sajdah: 17].

{فَلَا تَعْلَمُ نَفْسٌ مَّا أُخْفِيَ لَهُم مِّن قُرَّةِ أَعْيُنٍ جَزَاءً بِمَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ}

Transletration: Fala taAAlamu nafsun ma okhfiya lahum min qurrati aAAyunin jazaan bima kanoo yaAAmaloona



Many Muslims tasted the eman of Jannah, and Bilal radi Allahu anhu was one of them. His slave master, Umayyah, would drag Bilal out to the grilling desert at noontime – the fiercest moment of the day. Umayyah would press Bilal to the scalding ground and place a boulder on top of his chest to increase the torture. As his back would melt away Bilal would say nothing but, “Ahad! Ahad! – One! Only One.”



Later in his life, when companions would see Bilal’s scarred back, tears would well in their eyes and they would ask him how he survived the punishment. Listen to his answer: “The pain of punishment mixed with the sweetness of eman. I tasted both and the sweetness of eman overcame everything until I felt no more pain.”



Today, let us sample Jannah, as offered to us in the Qur’an and Sunnah.





The Gates of Jannah



Imagine yourself present on the day when the gates of Jannah will be opened with all of the splendor that lies beyond it. Allah tells us in the Qur’an about when the muttaqoon are escorted to the gates of Jannah by the most handsome of Angels:



“And those who feared their Lord will be led to the Garden in crowds, until – behold – they arrive there. Its gates will be opened and its keepers will say, “Peace be upon you! You have done well, so enter (Jannah) and live in it eternally.” [Az-Zumar: 73]

{وَسِيقَ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوْا رَبَّهُمْ إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ زُمَرًا حَتَّى إِذَا جَاءُوهَا وَفُتِحَتْ أَبْوَابُهَا وَقَالَ لَهُمْ خَزَنَتُهَا سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ طِبْتُمْ فَادْخُلُوهَا خَالِدِينَ}

Transliteration: Waseeqa allatheena ittaqaw rabbahum ila aljannati zumaran hatta itha jaooha wafutihat abwabuha waqala lahum khazanatuha salamun AAalaykum tibtum faodkhulooha khalideena



RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam spoke to the Sahaabaa about the gates of Jannah. He mentioned the gate of prayers, the gate of jihaad, the gate of siyaam, and the gate of charity.



Abu Bakr asked with the desire that took him to where he reached in eman, “Will anyone be called from all gates?”



RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said, “Yes, and I hope that you will be one of them.”





The Shade in Jannah



Imagine yourself in Jannah’s cooling shade – water springs surrounding you, and fruits dipping in hands reach.

Allah tells us:

“Indeed, the muttaqoon will be amid shades and springs / And fruits from whatever they desire / Eat and drink to your hearts content for what you used to do (in the dunya) / Such we certainly reward the doers of good” [Al-Mursalaat: 41-44].

{إِنَّ الْمُتَّقِينَ فِي ظِلَالٍ وَعُيُونٍ ﴿٤١﴾ وَفَوَاكِهَ مِمَّا يَشْتَهُونَ ﴿٤٢﴾ كُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا هَنِيئًا بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ ﴿٤٣﴾ إِنَّا كَذَٰلِكَ نَجْزِي الْمُحْسِنِينَ ﴿٤٤﴾}

Transliteration: Inna almuttaqeena fee thilalin waAAuyoonin (41) Wafawakiha mimma yashtahoona (42) Kuloo waishraboo haneean bima kuntum taAAmaloona (43) Inna kathalika najzee almuhsineena (44)





The Ambience in Jannah



Imagine yourself in Jannah. Jannah doesn’t have any gossip; no, “Did you hear about brother so and so,” or “Did see what sister so and so is wearing.” Your face is shining with joy and you’re so glad that you woke up for Fajr all those days, glad you paid your zakah, glad you wore hijab all those summer days. This is what the atmosphere is like in Jannah:



“Faces that day will be joyful (radiant) / Satisfied with the effort they put (in the dunya) / In an elevated garden / Where they shall hear no unsuitable speech”. [Al-Ghaashiyah: 8-11]

{وُجُوهٌ يَوْمَئِذٍ نَّاعِمَةٌ ﴿٨﴾ لِّسَعْيِهَا رَاضِيَةٌ ﴿٩﴾ فِي جَنَّةٍ عَالِيَةٍ ﴿١٠﴾ لَّا تَسْمَعُ فِيهَا لَاغِيَةً ﴿١١}

Transliteration: Wujoohun yawmaithin naAAimatun (8) LisaAAyiha radiyatun (9) Fee jannatin AAaliyatin (10) La tasmaAAu feeha laghiyatan (11)





Jannah: The Greatest Gift



In Masjid An-Nabawee I had been reciting the Qur’an to Shaykh Muhammad Ahmad Ma’bad for over a year. Finally when the time of the Khatm Al-Quran came, I brought a recorder to the halaqah and told him that I wanted to record the Khatm and the du’a for my mother who was in Canada.



When he made du’a he prayed for my parents saying, “O Allah! Bless Muhammad’s parents with crowns of noor (light) on the Day of Repayment!”



A month later in Canada, when I was handing out gifts, I pulled out this tape for my mother. She took it and listened to the entire thing. When my mother heard this du’a, she sat crying. She told me, “This is the greatest gift I could have gotten.”



Truly, Jannah is the greatest gift one can get. As Allah subhaanahu wa ta 'aala says:



“Indeed Jannah is the greatest attainment!”









PART II



Regarding the inhabitants of Jannah:

“You can tell in their faces the radiance of the blessing.” [Al Mutaffifin: 24]

{تَعْرِفُ فِي وُجُوهِهِمْ نَضْرَةَ النَّعِيمِ }

Transliteration: TaAArifu fee wujoohihim nadrata alnnaAAeemi



The inhabitants of Jannah shall be in:

“Gardens and rivers.”



The inhabitants of Jannah are:

“Most pleased with what Allah gave them from His bounty.”

{فَرِحِينَ بِمَا آتَاهُمُ اللَّـهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ }

Transliteration: Fariheena bima atahumu Allahu min fadlihi



Dear brothers and sisters, Jannah is the fruit of a seed planted in this dunya; it is the retirement package that you save up in all your years of work.



There once lived a pious man who was enslaved to a wicked master. The righteous slave wanted to teach his master a lesson that he would not forget; a lesson that would make him change his ways.



The master told him one day to plant wheat. The slave took the opportunity and went and collected seeds of barley and planted them instead. As the season drew near, the master was enraged to see that after all this work and time, the slave had planted the wrong seed. In his thrashing rage, he scolded the slave saying, “Why did you do this?”



The righteous slave said, “I had hoped that the barley seeds would come out as wheat.”



The master said, “How can you plant barley seeds and expect it to come out as wheat?”



The slave stopped and said quietly, “How can you disobey Allah and expect for His bounteous mercy? How can you openly challenge his deen and hope for Jannah.”



The master was stunned and silent. He understood. “You have taught me something today that I had never realized. You are free for the sake of Allah.”



A poet once wrote:

There is no home for a man after death



Except that which he used to build before he died.



If he built it with bricks of good deeds,



Then the architecture shall come out beautiful.



And if he built it with evil,



Its architect will fall into ruin.



Dear brothers and sisters, do you know what the greatest blessing for the inhabitants of Jannah is? Don’t let any laziness in Salah block you from being here. Don’t let anything anything stand between you and this blessing. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam told us:

«When the inhabitants of Jannah enter Jannah, Allah will ask them all, ‘Is there anything more that I can give you?’ They will say, ‘Have you not illuminated our faces? Have you not entered us into Jannah? Have you not saved us from Hellfire?’

Then Allah will uncover the veil (and all shall see Allah). After that moment there would be nothing more beloved to them than seeing their Lord"» [Reported by Muslim].


«إذا دخل أهل الجنة الجنة، قال يقول الله تبارك وتعالى: تريدون شيئا أزيدكم؟ فيقولون: ألم تبيض وجوهنا؟ ألم تدخلنا الجنة وتنجنا من النار. قال فيكشف الحجاب. فما أعطوا شيئا أحب إليهم من النظر إلى ربهم عز وجل

Let’s go home today driving towards Jannah!

Jealousy and Modesty

 

Praised be to Allah the god of the worlds, and pray to Allah prophet Mohammed, all his family, and companions, then:



From the charms of our religion the taking care of nobility of characters, the prophet-peace be upon him-said: "Verily I have been but sent to perfect the most noble of manners." [validated by Alabani]

«إنما بعثت لأتمم صالح الأخلاق»



And when the prophet-peace be upon him-was sent, he confirmed the ignorance era good manners, and canceled their bad manners, and rectified what need rectifying.



And from the good manners of the ignorance era: the jealousy of the man on his unmarriageable ones, but some of them were going too far that they surpassed the limits. Some buried their daughters’ alive; fearing monstrosity. Therefore, the legislator prohibited this, rectified and improved the jealousy part and made it from the paths of the faith, the prophet-peace be upon him-said: "No one more jealous than Allah" [Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim]

«لا شيء أغير من الله»



And the prophet -peace and blessings be upon him- said: "Verily Allah gets jealous and the believer gets jealous and the jealousy of Allah is to see a believer doing unlawful acts" [Narrated by Muslim]

«إن الله يغار، وإن المؤمن يغار، وغيرة الله أن يأتي المؤمن ما حرم عليه»

And he -peace and blessings be upon him- said when the sun eclipsed: "O community of Muhammad! ByAllah, there is no-one more jealous than Allah..." [Narrated by Bukhari]

«يا أمة محمد, ما أحدٌ أغير من اللهِ... »



And the prophet said-peace be upon him-" Allah likes some of the jealousy” [Classified Hasan by Albani]

«إن من الغَيْرة ما يحبُّ الله...»

and when Saâd son of Ôbada-may Allah pleased with him-if I saw a man with my woman I would have hit him with the unfoliated part of my sword, the prophet-peace be upon him- said: “do you wonder from Saad's jealousy, I am more jealous than Saâd, And Allah is more jealous” [Narrated by Bukhari] (unfoliated: to hit him with the edge of the sword not with its side, at which the one who hits with edge intends to kill while the one who hits with the side indent disciplining)

« لو رأيت رجلا مع امرأتي لضربته بالسيف غير مصفح ، فبلغ ذلك النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال (أتعجبون من غيرة سعد، لأنا أغير منه، و الله أغير منى) »



And the companions-may Allah pleased with them- endowed with this prophetic manner and kept on it, its matter the same as the essentials of the faith and its paths, so it wasn't strange that some of them were killed or kill in order to preserve this issue. Ibn Hashem recited that a woman from the Arabs came with some earning (what is brought to the markets to be sold there) and she sold it in the market of Kaynokaâ (one of the tribes of the Jewish) and she sat at a jeweler there, and they insisted on her to show her face but she refused, so the jeweler came to the edge of her cloth and tied it to her seat -without her notice- so when she stood up she was exposed, so they laughed on her, and she yielded, then a man from the Muslims leaped on the jeweler and killed him-and he was Jewish-so the Jewish people pressured on that Muslim and killed him, so the prophet-peace be upon him-walked to them, and surrounded them until they followed his judgment, so he evacuated them to Al Sham.



In this way the ancestors continued, and the Muslims never left or even neglect this manner even at the week times that the Islamic nation passed by, like while when the crusaders were occupying some of the Islamic countries in Al Sham and their occupation continued for about two centuries, it was a time that some may think that they are staying until the landing of Issa the son of Mary, at this time the historians recorded that the Muslims were scorning them and looking to them as cuckolds, at which the one of them may be walking with his wife in the road and she meets a friend, so he stands away to let his wife speaks with her friend as she wants.



Some examples of the nonfeasance of the jealousy:



-In our countries-May Allah fill it with obedience-we are still better than the others in this issue, although some are exceptions.



-You can see some of them in his car, and his wife gets outs from the car and takes too long in a conversation and he should have been with her.



-And you see one of them, his wife in solitude with foreign men; with the driver in the car, or with the seller in a shop, or with the physician in the clinic, or somewhere else, and he sees nothing wrong with that, and the prophet-peace be upon him said-"whenever a man combines with a women apart, the devil shall be their third" [validated by Albani]

«ألا لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا كان ثالثهما الشيطان»



-And also the man leaves his woman or the women in his custodianship going out with transparent, describing, or short clothes.



-Also the getting out of the man with his wife and his unmarriageable ones in the public crowds, at which his women may associate with men, or she is exposed to their regards.



-Also another example, the man leaves his woman to travel without any of her unmarriageable persons, the messenger of Allah-peace be upon him-said: "No man combines with a women in solitude unless she is with one of her unmarriageable ones, and no woman travels unless she is with one of her unmarriageable ones. So a man stands up and said: Messenger of Allah "my woman gets out on pilgrimage, and I was requested in so and so of invasions, so he said: Go and pilgrimage with your woman" [Narrated by Muslim]

«لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا ومعها ذو محرم. ولا تسافر المرأة إلا مع ذي محرم فقام رجل فقال: يا رسول الله ! إن امرأتي خرجت حاجة. وإني اكتتبت في غزوة كذا وكذا. قال: انطلق فحج مع امرأتك»



This is a militant in the sake of Allah, the prophet-peace open him-ordered him to leave the holy war to accompany his wife, that went in a holy travel which is pilgrimage, and with the purist and most pious people, and even she has already gone, the prophet-peace be upon him-said "go and pilgrimage with your woman".

«انطلق فَحُج مع امرأتك»



The reasons of the proceeding:



What has been mentioned from examples is a reality happening and seen, although the common behavior is the preservation of jealousy. So what is the reason of what is happening from some people in the absence of jealousy and modesty? Now, let’s speak about the rank of the modesty and its stature in Islam.



Modesty:



The modesty is one the paths of faith, as it came in the speech of the prophet-peace be upon him-, so whenever his modesty decreases his faith decreases, and in the two valid books the prophet-peace be upon him- said "The modesty only brings good" [Bukhari and Muslim]

«الحياءُ لا يأتي إلا بخير»



And in a recitation of Muslim "All the modesty is good"

«الحياء خير كله. قال: أنه قال: الحياء كله خير»



and it is recited about Salman the Persian-May Allah be pleased with him-that he said:
If Allah wanted to doom someone he takes from him the modesty, so when the modesty is taken you find him only as an abominable disgusting one"



And the poet said:



I swear by Allah that there is no good in life nor the world if the modesty is gone

As long as the one has modesty he is good and the steam remains as long its cover is still.



And another said:



I see the one with no modesty nor honesty as if he is naked among the people.



And the slightness of the modesty at the woman has particular reasons, like:



1-The leniency of the upbringing of it, and habit ever remains:

If you rectify the branches it became right, and it never soften if it is wood.



2-The over association of woman with the foreigners, and the over talking with them.



3-The association with people with low modesty, or the repeating of their viewing, either resulting from traveling abroad or seeing them in the markets and parks, or watching them in the episodes, or something like that, because the good and bad manners is achieved by association.



4-And it might be from the most important reasons: the over getting out of the woman from her home, the great and almighty Allah said: "And abide in your houses" [al-Ahzab 33:33]

{وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ}

Transliteration: Wa Qarna Fī Buyūtikunna



And El Tabarany recited with a good bond that the prophet-peace be upon him-said "The woman is a private part, and if she gone out from her home the devil raises his glance to her, and she is never nearer to her God than the deepest part of her house" [validated by Albani] [the devil raises his glance upon her and covet in her].

«المرأة عورة، وإنها إذا خرجت من بيتها استشرفها الشيطان، وإنها لا تكون أقرب إلى الله منها في قعر بيتها»



And the prophet-peace be upon him-said "Don't prevent your women from the mosques, and their homes better for them"[validated by Albani]

«لا تمنعوا نساءكم المساجد، وبيوتُهُن خيرٌ لهن»



AlDomuaty the memorizing-may Allah have mercy on him-said:
" EbnKhozuma and a group of scientists declared that her praying in home better than the mosque, even if the mosque was the mosque of Makka or Almadina or Jerusalem".



-And the reasonable and the sagacious one should realize that what some of the Islamic countries has reached from degeneration and change didn't happen in one time, but began usually with silly begins till the situation reaches what we see now, so pay attention.



Finally, you Muslim, verify your testimony that Mohamed is a messenger of Allah, so that you believe him in what he said, and obey him in what he ordered, and don't commit what he prohibited and restrained, and don't you ever be inconsistent with his order in the sake of your fancy or in conformity with anyone, the great and almighty Allah said "So let those beware who dissent from the Prophet’s order, lest fitnah strike them or a painful punishment." [An-Nur 24:63]

{فَلْيَحْذَرِ الَّذِينَ يُخَالِفُونَ عَنْ أَمْرِهِ أَن تُصِيبَهُمْ فِتْنَةٌ أَوْ يُصِيبَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ}

Transliteration: Lā Taj`alū Du`ā'a Ar-Rasūli Baynakum Kadu`ā'i Ba`đikum Ba`đāan Qad Ya`lamu Allāhu Al-Ladhīna Yatasallalūna Minkum Liwādhāan Falyaĥdhari Al-Ladhīna Yukhālifūna `An 'Amrihi 'An Tuşībahum Fitnatun 'Aw Yuşībahum `Adhābun 'Alīmun

The most liked deeds to Allah

 

In the Name of Allah the Beneficent, the Merciful



Praise be only to Allah, and peace and blessings on the last Prophet, and so:



From the most liked deeds to Allah the Exalted:



1- The generous Hanifia (Islam): according to the Prophet's (pbuh) speech: "The most loved religion to Allah is the generous Islam (Hanifia)" [Narrated by Ahmad and declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«أحب الأديان إلى الله الحنيفية السمحة»



2- Praying, kindness to parents, and Jihad (fighting): according to the the Prophet (pbuh) speech: "The most liked deeds by Allah are Prayer at its proper time, Kindness to the parents, and Jihad in the cause of Allah." [Corrected by Al Albani]

«أحب الأعمال إلى الله: الصلاة لوقتها، ثم برُ الوالدين، ثم الجهاد في سبيل الله»



3- Faith, maintain ties of kinship, enjoining the right and forbidding the wrong, according to the Prophet (pbuh): "The most liked deeds to Allah is Faith in Allah, then maintaining the ties of kinship, then enjoining the right and forbidding the wrong." [declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«أحب الأعمال إلى الله إيمان بالله ، ثم صلة الرحم ، ثم الأمر بالمعروف و النهي عن المنكر»



4- Persistence on the duties, according to the Prophet's (pbuh) speech: "The most beloved deeds to Allah's the most regular and constant even though it were little" [Narrated by Al Bukhari]

«أحب الأعمال أدومها إلى الله وإن قل»



5- Remembrance of Allah, according to the Prophet's (pbuh) speech: "The best deeds to Allah is that you die and your tongue is wet with the remembrance of Allah") [declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«قلت أي الأعمال أحب إلى الله قال: أن تموت ولسانك رطب من ذكر الله. »



6- The mosques, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The dearest parts on the face of the earth near Allah are its mosques, and the most hated parts near Allah are its markets" [Narrated by Muslim]

«أحب البلاد إلى الله مساجدها، وأبغض البلاد إلى الله أسواقها»



7-
A word of justice in front of a cruel (inequitable) king, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The most liked Jihad in Allah's cause to Allah is a justice word said to a cruel king" [declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«أحب الجهاد إلى الله كلمة الحق تقال لإمام جائر»



8-
Saying the truth, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The most liked speech to Allah is the most truthful" [Narrated by Al Bukhari]

«أحب الحديث إلي أصدقه»



9-
Fast as Dawud, depending on the Prophet's (pbuh) speech: "The best fasting with Allah is that of the Prophet Dawud (pbuh), he observed fast one day and leave off the other. And the best prayer with Allah is that of Dawud (pbuh) for he would sleep half of the night and stand for prayer for the third of it and then would sleep sixth part of it." [Narrated by Al Bukhari]

«أحب الصيام إلى الله صيام داود: كان يصوم يوما ويفطر يوما، وأحب الصلاة إلى الله صلاة داود: كان ينام نصف الليل ويقوم ثلثه، وينام سدسه»



10- Having a lot of people eating from the food, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The most liked food to Allah is the one that many people eat from it" [declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«أحب الطعام إلى الله ما كثرت عليه الأيدي»



11- Saying "Sobhan Allah wa Behamdih", as the Prophet said: "The most loved expression by Allah is Subhan Allah wa bihamdih (Allah is free from imperfection and his is the praise)" [Narrated by Muslim]

«...إن أحب الكلام إلى الله، سبحان الله وبحمده»



12- Saying Sobhan Allah, Al Hamdo Lellah, La Ilaha Ila Allah, and Allaho Akbar, depending on what the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The dearest words to Allah are four: Subhan Allah (Hallowed be Allah), Al Hamdulillah (praise be to Allah), Wa la ilaha illa Allah (there is no God but Allah), Allah-O-Akbar (God is the greatest)." [Narrated by Muslim]

«أحب الكلام إلى الله أربع: سبحان الله، والحمد لله، ولا إله إلا الله، والله أكبر...»



13- Having good Morals (temper), as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The most liked servants of Allah to Allah who have the best temper"[declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«أحب عباد الله إلى الله أحسنهم خلقا»



14- Naming after Abdullah and Abdul Rahman, depending on what the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The dearest names to Allah the Almighty are 'Abdullah and 'Abd al- Rahman" [Corrected by Al-Albani]

«أحب الأسماء إلى الله عز وجل عبد الله وعبد الرحمن»



15- Helping people, make the Muslims happy (glad), revealing sorrow, paying the debt for the people who are in debt, feeding the starving (hungry), as the Prophet (pbuh) said: "The most loved people to Allah are the most beneficial, the most loved deeds to Allah the Exalted are making a Muslim happy, revealing his sorrow, paying his debt, or revealing his hunger, and I'd prefer to help my Muslim brother who is in need of something than staying in the mosque for praying (I'tikaf) for a month, and who stopped his anger God will cover his private parts, and who absorbed his rage (and if he wants to leave it he would do it), God will fill his heart with satisfaction on the Day of Resurrection, and who walked with his Muslim brother in a need till he attained it God will attain (strengthen) his feet on the day when all the feet will fall (slip), and the bad morals decays the deed as when the vinegar decomposes the honey"[declared Hasan by Al-Albani]

«أحب الناس إلى الله أنفعهم، وأحب الأعمال إلى الله عز وجل سرور تدخله على مسلم، أو تكشف عنه كربة، أو تقضي عنه دينا، أو تطرد عنه جوعا، ولأن أمشي مع أخي المسلم في حاجة أحب إلي من أن أعتكف في المسجد شهرا، ومن كف غضبه، ستر الله عورته، ومن كظم غيظا، ولو شاء أن يمضيه أمضاه، ملأ الله قلبه رضى يوم القيامة، ومن مشى مع أخيه المسلم في حاجته حتى يثبتها له أثبت الله تعالى قدمه يوم تزل الأقدام، وإن سوء الخلق ليفسد العمل كما يفسد الخل العسل»

 

Did you ever weep out of fear from Allah?

 

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

Praise to Allah solely, and peace and blessings upon whom no prophet is beyond, our prophet Mohamed, and upon his relatives and apostles till the end of days



Dear brother:



Did you ever cry one day?

Did you ever ponder your huge crimes and cried over what you did?

Did you ever ponder Allah enshroud over you and exhaled out of relief?

Did you ever ponder Allah care for you, his patience on you in spite of your repel and distancing from Him? So you cried and sighed.

Did you ever ponder His strength and your weakness? His richness and your poverty? His perfection and your incompetence? His eternal life and your death?

Did you ever ponder Allah severe torture for His disobeyers? His fine reward for His obedient and followers?

Why did our eyes dry out and did not allow us to shed a tear?

Why did our hearts harden, became impatient and our conditions are worsened?

Why did our feelings are burdened with the acts of worship and are vivid to amusements and evil acts?

Where do we stand from this nation’s ancestors who performed their work efficiently, who wept out of their fear from failure and slippage, and out of their anxiety from frustration and defects?



Where do we stand from those who “When the verses of the Most Merciful were recited to them, they fell in prostration and weeping” [Maryam 19:58]

{إِذَا تُتْلَىٰ عَلَيْهِمْ آيَاتُ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ خَرُّوا سُجَّدًا وَبُكِيًّا}

Transliteration:'Idhā Tutlá `Alayhim 'Āyātu Ar-Raĥmāni Kharrū Sujjadāan Wa Bukīyāan



Where is our weeping while listening to the Qur’an? Where is our humility and humble to the signs of criterion?



“And [it is] a Quran which We have separated [by intervals] that you might recite it to the people over a prolonged period. And We have sent it down progressively. (106) Say, "Believe in it or do not believe." Indeed, those who were given knowledge before it, when it is recited to them, they fall upon their faces in prostration, (107). And they say, "Exalted is our Lord! Indeed, the promise of our Lord has been fulfilled." (108). And they fall upon their faces weeping, and it [i.e., the Quran] increases them in humble submission (109)”. [Al Israa 17:106-109]

{وَقُرْآنًا فَرَقْنَاهُ لِتَقْرَأَهُ عَلَى النَّاسِ عَلَىٰ مُكْثٍ وَنَزَّلْنَاهُ تَنزِيلًا ﴿١٠٦﴾ قُلْ آمِنُوا بِهِ أَوْ لَا تُؤْمِنُوا ۚ إِنَّ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْعِلْمَ مِن قَبْلِهِ إِذَا يُتْلَىٰ عَلَيْهِمْ يَخِرُّونَ لِلْأَذْقَانِ سُجَّدًا ﴿١٠٧﴾ وَيَقُولُونَ سُبْحَانَ رَبِّنَا إِن كَانَ وَعْدُ رَبِّنَا لَمَفْعُولًا ﴿١٠٨﴾ وَيَخِرُّونَ لِلْأَذْقَانِ يَبْكُونَ وَيَزِيدُهُمْ خُشُوعًا}

Transliteration: Wa Qur'ānāan Faraqnāhu Litaqra'ahu `Alá An-Nāsi `Alá Mukthin Wa Nazzalnāhu Tanzīlāan (106) Qul 'Āminū Bihi 'Aw Lā Tu'uminū 'Inna Al-Ladhīna 'Ūtū Al-`Ilma Min Qablihi 'Idhā Yutlá `Alayhim Yakhirrūna Lil'adhqāni Sujjadāan (107) Wa Yaqūlūna Subĥāna Rabbinā 'In Kāna Wa`du Rabbinā Lamaf`ūlāan (108) Wa Yakhirrūna Lil'adhqāni Yabkūna Wa Yazīduhum Khushū`āan (109)



“Weeping out of fear from Allah is the proof of our faith and sensing its sweetness. Therefore, Mighty Allah rejected those who laughed while listening to the Quraan and did not cry. So He says: “Then at this statement do you wonder? (59). And you laugh and do not weep” [An-Najm: 59-60]

{أَفَمِنْ هَٰذَا الْحَدِيثِ تَعْجَبُونَ ﴿٥٩﴾ وَتَضْحَكُونَ وَلَا تَبْكُونَ}



Ibn Katheer said in his interpretation: Then the Mighty Allah denies the way the disbelievers listen to the Quraan, their negligence and messing around and says: {Then at this statement do you wonder} He wonders how could this be true, {And you laugh} out of mocking and irony {and do not weep} as the believers do, and he describes them “And they fall upon their faces weeping, and it [i.e., the Quran increases them in humble submission” [Al Israa 17:109].

{وَيَخِرُّونَ لِلْأَذْقَانِ يَبْكُونَ وَيَزِيدُهُمْ خُشُوعًا}

Transliteration: Wa Yakhirrūna Lil'adhqāni Yabkūna Wa Yazīduhum Khushū`āan



Weeping in Sunnah:



What was provided from the prophet, peace be upon Him, concerning the virtue of weeping out of fear from Allah, and narrated by Abou Huraira, may Allah gratifies him, said: the messenger of Allah, peace be upon Him, said: »One who weeps out of fear of Allah, will not enter hell till milk returns back in the udder; and the dust raised on account of fighting in the path of Allah and the smoke of hell will never combine together« [Narrated by At-Tarmathey and edited by Al Albani]

«لا يلج النار رجل بكى من خشية الله حتى يعود اللبن في الضرع، ولا يجتمع غبار في سبيل الله ودخان جهنم»



That is proof that weeping out of fear from Allah is worship and is one of the reasons to gain entering heaven and be saved from hell.

Yes, dear brother, one instant where you shed one sincere tear could be your saver from hell. So, where is this instant and where is that tear?



The prophet, peace be upon Him, said in the hadith related to the seven types of people whom Allah will shade on the day of resurrection, when there is no shade but His: »and a man remembered Allah while he is alone and his eyes overflowed with tears out of His fear« [Narrated by Al Bukhari and Muslim]

«ورجل ذكر الله خالياً، ففاضت عيناه»



The prophet, peace be upon Him, always impelled His apostles to weep. Narrated by Anas, may Allah gratify him, said: The prophet, peace be upon Him, was informed of something occurred to His apostles, so He said: "Heaven and hell were showed to me, and I have never seen like that day in which good and evil are presented. If you would know what I do, then you would have laughed a little and cried a lot" [Narrated by Muslim]

«عرضت علي الجنة والنار، فلم أر كاليوم في الخير والشر، ولو تعلمون ما أعلم لضحكتم قليلاً، ولبكيتم كثيراً»



He said: No day appeared to the apostles of the messenger of Allah, peace be upon Him, harder than that day. Also he said: They (the apostles) covered their faces as they were Weeping and sniffling.



The prophet, peace be upon Him, weeps:



The prophet Himself, peace be upon Him, wept and his tears flowed. He, whom Allah has forgiven all His future and past sins, and Allah forbid that His prophet, peace be upon Him, does any sin towards Almighty Allah. He is the infallible, the chosen one and who is renounced from all sins and evil deeds.



Abdullah Ibn Ash-Shakheer, may Allah gratifies him, said: “I came to the prophet, peace be upon Him, when he was praying. He was sobbing and his chest sounded like a boiling kettle.” [Declared authentic by Al Albani]

«أتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو يصلي ولجوفه أزيز كأزيز المرجل من البكاء»



This is the legitimate Weeping according to Shariah, not yelling and wailing, lamenting during funerals, hitting chests and cutting clothes and any other deeds similar to what was done by the people of ignorance. All this is done out of ignorance, delusion and heresy of which Allah has not revealed any sanction.



Narrated by Abdullah Ibn Massud, may Allah gratifies him, said: The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon Him, told me: "Read the Quraan for me", I said: “Messenger of Allah, how would I read it to you while it was sent down upon you?” He said: "I like to hear it from someone else but me." [Narrated by Al Bukhari]

« اقرأعلي القرآن. قلت :آقرأعليك وعليك أنزل ؟ قال : إني أحب أن أسمعه من غيري»



Ibn Massud said: “So I read Surah An-Nisaa till the part of "So how [will it be] when We bring from every nation a witness and We bring you, [Muhammad], against these [people] as a witness?" [An-Nisaa 4 :41]

{فَكَيْفَ إِذَا جِئْنَا مِن كُلِّ أمَّةٍ بِشَهِيدٍ وَجِئْنَا بِكَ عَلَى هَـؤُلاء شَهِيداً}

Transliteration: Fakayfa 'Idhā Ji'nā Min Kulli 'Ummatin Bishahīdin Wa Ji'nā Bika `Alá Hā'uulā' Shahīdāan



He said: I lifted up my head and saw His eyes flowing with tears”, and in another narration: “I lifted up my head and saw his tears shedding”.



The prophet, peace be upon Him, did not make any sound while he was weeping so that Ibn Massud, may Allah gratifies him, did not know it except after he rose his head. In some narrations, a man nudged him so he lifted up his head and saw the prophet’s, peace be upon Him, tears shedding.



His guidance in weeping:



Ibn Al Qayem, may Allah have mercy on his soul, said: “With regard to His weeping, peace be upon Him, was the same as His laughing. His weeping was not inhaling and loud and His laughing was not giggling, but He shed tears till His eyes overflow, and his chest sounded like a boiling kettle. His weeping was sometimes due to mercy for the deceased, or fear for His nation and out of pity upon it, and sometimes out of fear from Allah and while listening to the Quraan. It is weeping out of longing, love and reverence, which is accompanied with fear and dread.



His eyes flowed with tears when His son, Ibrahim, died, out of mercy on his soul and said: "The eyes flow with tears and the heart grieves, and we don’t say anything except what our God accepts, and We are really sad because of your death, Ibrahim" [Narrated by Muslim]

«تدمع العين ويحزن القلب. ولا نقول إلا ما يرضى ربنا . والله يا إبراهيم ! إنا بك لمحزونون»



He wept when He saw one of His daughters dying…

And wept when Ossman Ibn Mathoon died…

And wept when the sun eclipsed and prayed the eclipse prayer and wept while he was praying…

He wept while he was sitting on the grave of one of His daughters…

And He sometimes wept during the night prayer.



Kinds of weeping:

Weeping has different kinds:



First: Weeping out of compassion and tenderness

Second: Weeping out of fear and dread

Third: Weeping out of love and longing

Fourth: Weeping out of joy and happiness

Fifth: Weeping out of fear of advent of painful events and our inability to bear them

Sixth: Weeping out of sadness

Seventh: Weeping out of inanition and weakness

Eighth: Weeping out of hypocrite, that is when the eyes water while the heart is cruel, so one shows humility while his heart is one of the cruelest.

Ninth: fake and leased weeping, such as the rented wailing woman, who is as Omar Ibn Al Khattab said: “sells her tears and cries over others’ sorrows”.

Tenth: empathic weeping; is that when a man sees people weeping about something happened to them so he cries with them, not knowing what they are crying about, but just sees them weeping and he cries with them.



Weeping is called snivel when it is feigned and forced, and it indicates two types:



Benign: is performed due to kindness and fear from Allah, not hypocrite and gaining good reputation.



Malignant: is performed for the sake of mankind.

Some of the ancestor said: Weep out of fear from Allah, and if you cannot weep then snivel.



Ancestor’s weeping:



I cried over my sins due to my huge crimes *** and it is righteous for disobeyers to cry hard

If weeping would send my sorrows away *** I would have ignited tears with blood



1- Narrated by Zeid Ibn Arkam, may Allah gratifies him, that Aba Bakr, may Allah gratifies him, asked him for a drink one day, so he provided him with a glass of honey with some water. When Abou Bakr lifted it to his mouth he cried till the ones around him cried too. They stopped weeping, but he did not and his weeping grew, so they cried with him again. Then they stopped and so did he, and they asked him: “Aba Bakr, successor of messenger of Allah, peace be upon Him! What made you cry?”

He said: “I was alone with the prophet, peace be upon him, with no one around. He said while waiving his hand: “Get away from me, get away from me”. So I said: “Messenger of Allah, whom are you talking to while there is no one around?” He said: “This world has been figured to me, so I say to it: get away from me.” So it said: “If you could survive from me, then no one will be able to be saved after you”. This is what made me cry. [Narrated by Ibn Hajar in his book Mizan Al-I`tidal and Abdul Wahed Ibn Zeid, disparaged narrator]



2- There were two black lines on Omar Ibn Al Khatab cheek, may Allah gratifies him, as a result of his weeping.

People heard his weeping behind the lines (while praying) when he recited Surah Yussef, and Abou Ad-Dardaa and him cried all night long till dawn arose, may Allah gratifies them.



3- When Ossman Ibn Affan, may Allah gratifies him, stood on a grave, he wept till his beard is moistened with his tears.



4 - Aly Ibn Abou Taleb, may Allah gratifies him, used to grasp his beard and wept with humble and despair.



5- On Ibn Abbas face were two old scars resulted from his tears.

After you, those eyes were eliminated by their tears *** are there any further eyes to borrow



6- Ibn Masoud wept till he filled his palm with tears and would throw someone with them.



7- Abdullah Ibn Omar, may Allah gratifies them, turned off the lamp at night and wept till his eyelids stick!



8- Thabet Al Banaty kept weeping till he almost lost his sight. They told him: “We can cure you but you cannot cry again”, he said: “There is no good in a non-weeping eye”.

Criers wept for the Merciful sake all night *** and slept tireless with their tears

Out of my longing to the parts of the world *** I yearn when I can prostrate upon them



9- And Mansour wept till he emptied his eyes. His mother used to tell him: “My son, if you have killed someone, you would not have wept that much”.



10- Al Fodail treasured weeping, and he even wept while sleeping till his family heard it!

The eyes’ tears are so tender as if *** they are the tears of my tears not the tears of my eyelids



11- Abou Obaida Al Khawas used to weep and say (to his weeping): I am too old, so let me go free.



12- Younus Ibn Obaid said: “We used to meet with Al Hassan, and he wept till we had mercy on him”!

Is there an eye weeping upon shelter *** implore the emulsified rainy udder

Wept while the vivid springs overflowed and *** the hovering thirsty ones responded

I did not know that the eye is like a well *** nor that the flowing tears are drinkable



13- Ataa Al Salmy was asked: “What do you like most?” He said: “I like to weep till I am unable to weep anymore”.



14- Ashaath Al Harany and Habib Al Agamy visited each other and kept weeping all day long.



15- Abdel Wahed Ibn Yazeed used to tell Ataba: “Be kind to yourself”, he wept and said: “I weep over my deficiencies”.



The weeping we desire:



Dear brother:

Weeping we need is not the hypocrite weeping, where the eyes shed tears and the heart is harder than stone.

Weeping we need is not out of dread, weakness and not out of fear from any other thing but Allah.

Weeping we need is not yelling, wailing and lamenting.

Weeping we need is not negative, where it does not correct the defects or straighten out a behavior.

The legitimate weeping is what increases our faith and attains satisfaction, content and humble to the heart.

“The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, their hearts become fearful, and when His verses are recited to them, it increases them in faith; and upon their Lord they rely” [Al Anfal: 2]

{إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ الَّذِينَ إِذَا ذُكِرَ اللّهُ وَجِلَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَإِذَا تُلِيَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ آيَاتُهُ زَادَتْهُمْ إِيمَاناً وَعَلَى رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ}

Transliteration: 'Innamā Al-Mu'uminūna Al-Ladhīna 'Idhā Dhukira Allāhu Wajilat Qulūbuhum Wa 'Idhā Tuliyat `Alayhim 'Āyātuhu Zādat/hum 'Īmānāan Wa `Alá Rabbihim Yatawakkalūna

Weeping we need makes us closer to obedience and moves us away from doing sins and evil deeds, improves ethics, develops our souls, relieves our chests, and one can gain the best lessons and patterns out of it…

It is the sincere weeping and honesty in dealing with Allah the Mighty. Sofian said: Weeping is ten parts: one for Allah and nine for other than Allah. If what is prompted for Allah is performed once a year, then this would be a lot! This is a warning from him, may Allah bless his soul, regarding the necessity of loyalty and seeking it, because any deed which is performed for anyone but Allah will not be accepted from Him and his performer will be punished over it.



Mohamed Ibn Wassee said: “A man would weep for twenty years and his wife does not know it”!!

One felt like weeping, so he took a handkerchief and swept his eyes and nose saying: This cold is very hard, so no one would notice his weeping.

The lover tried to avoid to cry, but his feelings betrayed him *** and he tried to imprison his tears, but they poured

And the one who conceals his love will be disclosed on the day of farewell *** and the lover (who tries to withhold his tears) cannot hide his feelings



Oh Allah, grant us a tender tear with which we gain Your compassion, and do not deprive us from a sincere tear that flows out of Your fear. Tears stream unceasingly down our cheeks, out of Your generosity, to revive our hearts, cleanse our souls and relieve our chests, with Your mercy, oh most Merciful.

Hardening of the Heart

 

The Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon Him informed us in a very famous tradition, commonly quoted with reference to halal and haram, about the importance of the heart. He said:

«There is in the body a clump of flesh - if it becomes good, the whole body becomes good and if it becomes bad, the whole body becomes bad. And indeed it is the heart.» [Reported by Bukhari]

«ألا وإن في الجسد مضغة: إذا صلحت صلح الجسد كله، وإذا فسدت فسد الجسد كله، ألا وهي القلب »



The Hadith Full: «I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'Both legal and illegal things are evident but in between them there are doubtful (suspicious) things and most of the people have no knowledge about them. So whoever saves himself from these suspicious things saves his religion and his honor. And whoever indulges in these suspicious things is like a shepherd who grazes (his animals) near the Hima (private pasture) of someone else and at any moment he is liable to get in it. (O people!) Beware! Every king has a Hima and the Hima of Allah on the earth is His illegal (forbidden) things. Beware! There is a piece of flesh in the body if it becomes good (reformed) the whole body becomes good but if it gets spoilt the whole body gets spoilt and that is the heart.»



«الحلال بين، والحرام بين، وبينهما مشبهات لا يعلمها كثير من الناس، فمن اتقى المشبهات استبرأ لدينه وعرضه، ومن وقع في الشبهات: كراع يرعى حول الحمى يوشك أن يواقعه، ألا وإن لكل ملك حمى، ألا وإن حمى الله في أرضه محارمه، ألا وإن في الجسد مضغة: إذا صلحت صلح الجسد كله، وإذا فسدت فسد الجسد كله، ألا وهي القلب»



He said that after explaining that the halal is clear and that the haram is clear and that between them are obscure areas, not known to most people. However, what protects a person from the haram and ensures that he remains in the halal is knowledge; but beyond knowledge, it is the state of the heart. If the heart is good, then it makes use of the knowledge and it avoids what is prohibited. If the heart is bad, then the knowledge is of no benefit to it and it will indulge in what is prohibited.



The Prophet , on the last pilgrimage, informed his Companions and the nations of Muslims to come, that there is no favour or no special place of the Arab over the non-Arab; nor is there any favour or special position of White over Black, but that favour in the sight of Allah, is with those who fear Him, those who have taqwa. After bearing witness to that, he said that "Taqwa is in the heart."



In these statements and other similar statements, we find stress being placed on the heart - that the heart is the part of the body, which Allah has favoured over all other parts. It is the place of iman. Had there been in the body another part that were nearer to Allah, taqwa would have been placed there because iman is the most valuable thing that a human being can have. There is nothing more valuable. It is the determination ultimately of those who have belief in Allah - those who have accepted the message and who have chosen Paradise over Hell. It is the distinction of those who have belief and those who have disbelief.



The value of iman is more than all of the things of this world. This is why the Prophet Muhammad said that for ALLAH to guide by your hands a single person to Islam is worth more than anything in this world. For you to help someone to find iman is worth more than any of the things in this world.



The heart is the place by which the correctness of deeds is judged. The Prophet Muhammad said: «Deeds are judged according to the intention.» [Reported by Bukhari]



«إنما الأعمال بالنيات»



The place of the intention is not on the lips. It is in the heart.





The Hadith in Full: Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab: Allah's Apostle said, «The reward of deeds depends upon the intention and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for Allah and His Apostle, then his emigration was for Allah and His Apostle. And whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for.»



«إنما الأعمال بالنيات ، وإنما لكل امرىء ما نوى ، فمن كانت هجرته إلى دنيا يصيبها ، أو إلى امرأة ينكحها ، فهجرته إلى ما هاجر إليه »



Our deeds - what we do externally - are judged ultimately by the states of our hearts. These are good deeds. Evil deeds are evil, but these good deeds are in reference to those that we perceive to be a part and parcel of righteousness. Allah will inspect the hearts to determine whether they are truly acts of righteousness.



The Prophet Muhammad had informed us that the first 3 people who would be cast into the Hell Fire are people who were involved in what everybody considers great acts of righteousness. They are the scholar who taught knowledge; the wealthy person who gave fro his wealth in charity and the martyr who gave his life fighting in the path of God.



The Prophet Muhammad, in an authentic narration, said that they would be among the first groups of people thrown into because the scholar, when he taught the knowledge that Allah gave him, did not do so for the sake of Allah. He taught so that people would praise him, saying what a great scholar he is and how knowledgeable he is. Allah will say to him: "You received your praise, what you sought in that world. But there will be nothing for you in the next." So he will be drawn off on his face and thrown into Hell.



Similarly the rich individual - the philanthropist, who was generous with his wealth. He gave and people praised his generosity, but Allah will say, "You did it for the praise and you were praised. There was no sincerity there; it was not for the sake of Allah. You did it for as long as people appreciated it, but when people did not pay you mind, you were not generous anymore. Your generosity was conditional; it was not really for the sake of Allah." So that individual will be drawn off on his face and thrown into Hell.



And the martyr - the one whom we all assumed had died fii-sabilillah. We would think that his place in Paradise is guaranteed. But Allah will say: "You fought so people would say, 'How brave this one is! How strong and courageous he was!'" People said it; they praised him, but he did not do it for the sake of Allah, so he will be drawn off on his face and thrown into Hell.



This is all telling us that ultimately, even the highest of deeds can be of no avail if the hearts are sick; if the hearts are corrupt. So the place of the heart should, in our minds occupy great attention. We have to spend much of our time observing, being aware of the state of our heart. When the Prophet Muhammad described Abu Bakr As-Siddiq , explaining to the people his status over the rest of them, he said, "He does not surpass you by performing more prayers and fasts - there are among you those who pray and fast more - but by something which deeply has embedded itself in his heart: Iman in his heart." That was where his superiority laid.



So there is no other faculty in the human body and existence that a believer should more concerned about. We have to make sure that this faculty is functioning as Allah wishes it to function. We should be greatly concerned about it. The Prophet used to make dua often, beginning: "I seek refuge in you, O Allah, from knowledge that does not benefit and from a heart which does not fear".



The Prophet Muhammad had a very soft heart. He treated people gently. His wives said that they could not recall an incident where he hit them or scolded them harshly. He was known for his gentleness. And Allah confirmed that this quality is an essential quality.



Allah said: "Due to Allah's mercy, you are gentle with them. Had you been severe and harsh hearted, they would have fled from around you." [Al-i-Imraan: 159]



{فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّـهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ}



Transliteration: Fabima rahmatin mina Allahi linta lahum walaw kunta faththan ghaleetha alqalbi lainfaddoo min hawlika



This was the quality of the Prophets and this is the characteristic that all those who seek to guide others to Allah must have. As it was essential for the Prophets, it is essential for us. It is essential for those who seek knowledge; it is essential for all people. It is essential for parents, with regard to their children.



Softness of the heart is something that we cannot spend too much time on.



With regards to children, Al-Aqra Ibn Habis was visited by the Prophet Muhammad . The Prophet lifted one of his children and placed the child on his lap. He kissed the child out of the kindness and softness o his heart towards the child. Al-Aqra said, "I have 10 other children and I have not kissed a single one of them." This was a point of pride, manhood - that one is not soft, that one is tough. The Prophet said to him, "Can I help it if Allah has removed mercy from your heart?" He went on to say, "And whoever is not merciful will not receive mercy."



So it is essential that parents show mercy to their children. And if we look at a home where a father is kind and merciful with his children, we find a home that is full of happiness and joy.



Mercy is something that we cannot live without.



The reality for those seeking knowledge - as it is compulsory for us to seek knowledge of the Deen - is that if there is not, along with that knowledge, a soft heart, then we cannot taste the beauty of that knowledge. As Hassan Al-Basri had said, "If a man seeks knowledge, it will appear in his face, hands an tongue and in his humility to Allah."



The opposite is true - that nothing corrupts knowledge and da'wa more than the harshness of the heart. Where hearts have become hardened, the knowledge is of no benefit to the individual, nor can that individual benefit others with it. Softness of the heart is the characteristic of true Muslims. If it becomes absent, then a person's life is filled with distress and discomfort. This is the promise of Allah. Those who lack hearts that are soft will lead woeful lives. As Allah said: "Woe to those whose hearts are hardened against the remembrance of Allah."[Az-Zumar: 22]



{فَوَيْلٌ لِّلْقَاسِيَةِ قُلُوبُهُم مِّن ذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ}



Transliteration: fawaylun lilqasiyati quloobuhum min thikri Allahi



They are in obvious misguidance. Woe to those whose hearts hear the Quran and they do not become fearful and humbled as a result of it. Woe to those whose eyes are reminded of the Words of Allah, but they do not weep in fear of Him. Woe to those who are reminded of the Warnings of Allah and they do not humble themselves to His Words.



It is a curse to have a hardened heart and it is a blessing to have a soft heart. Those with hardened hearts suffer in this life, even though they may have all of the trappings of this life. What seems to be an enjoyable life is empty - it is filled with loneliness. They cannot find peace of mind and of heart because their hearts are hardened to Allah to belief in Allah, to submission to Allah.



That is why Allah said: "Whosoever turns away from My Message, verily for him is a life narrowed down, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Judgment. (It is only with the remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest.)” [Taha: 124]



{وَمَنْ أَعْرَضَ عَن ذِكْرِي فَإِنَّ لَهُ مَعِيشَةً ضَنكًا وَنَحْشُرُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَعْمَىٰ }



Transliteration: Waman aAArada AAan thikree fainna lahu maAAeeshatan dankan wanahshuruhu yawma alqiyamati aAAma



"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction." [Al-Ra'd: 28]



{الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ}



Transliteration: Allatheena amanoo watatmainnu quloobuhum bithikri Allahi ala bithikri Allahi tatmainnu alquloobu





What is most beneficial in this life is a soft heart. We should strive to achieve it because everything else would be meaningless and useless if we do not have softened hearts. How do we achieve this?



It is not a secret. It is not something known only to a few, handed down in special sessions and gatherings. As the Prophet said, «I have left you on a clear white plain, whose day is like its night. Anyone who deviates from it is destroyed.» [Cassified as Saheeh by Albani]



«لقد تركتكم على مثل البيضاء، ليلها كنهارها، لا يزيغ عنها إلا هالك »



The way of the Prophet clarifies for us how to achieve a soft heart.



The First Method: Du`aa or Supplication



The first method is dua or supplication. Nothing softens the heart more than asking Allah to soften it and make it merciful. This is the promise of the Prophet peace be upon him when he said, «Call on Allah being certain that your prayer will be answered, but know at the same time that Allah will not answer the prayer of a heart which is negligent.» [Classified as Hassan by Albani]



«ادعوا الله وأنتم موقنون بالإجابة واعلموا أن الله لا يستجيب دعاء من قلب غافل لاه»



Dua will soften the heart and Allah is the One who will soften the heart. Our dua to Him will be answered, but we have to believe it. If we just raise our hands and ask, "O Allah, soften my heart!" and not really ask from the heart, it is just something we said · and we could have said ANYTHING else! If we call on Allah SINCERELY, He will soften the heart. "Call on Me and I will answer you."



[Allah said: "When my servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close to them: I respond to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me; let them also, with a will, listen to My call and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way" [Al-Baqarah: 186]



{وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ }



Transliteration: Waitha saalaka AAibadee AAannee fainnee qareebun ojeebu daAAwata alddaAAi itha daAAani falyastajeeboo lee walyuminoo bee laAAallahum yarshudoona



If we consider the many examples that we have from the lives of the Prophet Sallallahu 'Alayhi wa sallam and his companions, they would show us that it is Allah who can change the hearts.



Let us consider 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab. His attitude towards the Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam and Islam was so harsh that he set out one day to kill the Prophet. He was fed up with the efforts of Prophet to spread Islam that he felt he had to take it in his hands to finish this. He strapped on his sword and set out. On his way, he met another companion who told him to check on his own sister before seeing the Prophet. He was surprised and went to his sister's house, virtually tearing down the door. He slapped her and her husband until blood came from her face. He then stopped and looked at what he had caused.



On his way in, he had heard something from the Quran and it had touched him, but his anger did not allow it a chance to settle in his heart. But when he struck his sister and saw the blood, it stopped him for a minute. What he had heard before touched his heart. He asked what was being read before and some of the Quran was read for him. And he changed.



That was enough to turn him upside down. This was 'Umar! On another occasion, the other companions saw him laughing and then crying; one after the other. They asked what had caused that to happen to him. He said. "I remember that in the days of Jahiliyya, I used to have this idol made of dates. One day, I became so hungry that I ate a piece of it. And then, I cried when I remembered digging a hole and burying my daughter. Whilst I was putting her in, she reached up and brushed dirt from my beard." And he had buried her alive. That was the practice those who felt it was a dishonour to have a daughter killed them. That was how hard his heart was. How hard his heart had become, to bury his daughter alive.



But his heart changed. Changed so much that 'Umar , when he used to lead the prayers, would be so choked up with tears that people from way back in the third row could hear him crying. This was Umar, a man who was so harsh, so powerful, a courageous individual, but with the acceptance of Islam, his heart was turned around.



So we should do as the Prophet advised us to go to Allah and call on him to give us softened hearts and we should seek refuge as the Prophet had from the heart without fear. And in the same dua, he also sought refuge from the eyes that do not become full with tears; eyes which never cry.





The Second Way — Remember Death



The second way is that we remember the Hereafter, to remember our death. The one thing that we are one hundred per cent certain of — even if we have some doubt as to whether there is really a God; even if we wrongly wonder if what we are practicing is really the truth when there are so many other people doing so many other things — is that we are going to die.



But our lives are such that we become so occupied with the things of this life that we forget that we are going to die. As Allah said, the gathering of wealth has deluded them to the realities of life and they only come awake when they end up in their graves.



"The mutual rivalry for piling up (the good things of this world) diverts you (from the more serious things), until ye visit the graves. But nay, ye soon shall know the reality…" [At-Takathur: 1-3]



{أَلْهَاكُمُ التَّكَاثُرُ ﴿١﴾ حَتَّىٰ زُرْتُمُ الْمَقَابِرَ ﴿٢﴾ كَلَّا سَوْفَ تَعْلَمُونَ ﴿٣﴾}



Transliteration: Alhakumu alttakathuru (1) Hatta zurtumu almaqabira (2) Kalla sawfa taAAlamoona (3)





This is a fearful statement, that we should live lives unconscious of our deaths and thereby be lost in trivialities, things that are really ultimately not going to benefit us in the next life.



Consequently, Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam had said:«I [once] had forbidden you from visiting graves, [and I now enjoin] you to do so» [Reported by Muslim]



«نهيتكم عن زيارة القبور، فزوروها



To go to the graveyard, reflecting on the state of those in the grave (not necessarily of your relatives alone). As the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam said, «The grave is either a garden from the gardens of Paradise or a hole from the holes of Hell Fire.» [Classified as Hassan by Ibn Hajar 'Asqallaani]



«إنما القبر روضة من رياض الجنة أو حفرة من حفر النار »





There are people in the graves who are calling out for help but there is no one to help. When Munkar and Nakir come and ask them, "Who is your Lord?", "What is your religion?", "Who was the Prophet that was sent to you?", they will be unable to answer!"



Narrated Anas: The Prophet said «When a human being is laid in his grave and his companions return and he even hears their foot steps, two angels come to him and make him sit and ask him: What did you use to say about this man, Muhammad ? He will say: I testify that he is Allah's slave and His Apostle. Then it will be said to him, 'Look at your place in the Hell-Fire. Allah has given you a place in Paradise instead of it.' " The Prophet added, "The dead person will see both his places. But a non-believer or a hypocrite will say to the angels, 'I do not know, but I used to say what the people used to say! It will be said to him, 'Neither did you know nor did you take the guidance (by reciting the Quran).' Then he will be hit with an iron hammer between his two ears, and he will cry and that cry will be heard by whatever approaches him except human beings and jinns.» [Reported by Bukhari]



«أن رسول صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: إن العبد إذا وضع في قبره، وتولى عنه أصحابه، وإنه ليسمع قرع نعالهم، أتاه ملكان، فيقعدانه فيقولان: ما كنت تقول في هذا الرجل، لمحمد صلى الله عليه وسلم، فأما المؤمن فيقول: أشهد أنه عبد الله ورسوله ، فيقال له: انظر إلى مقعدك من النار، قد أبدلك الله به مقعدا من الجنة، فيراهما جميعا. قال قتادة وذكر لنا: أنه يفسح في قبره، ثم رجع إلى حديث أنس، قال: وأما المنافق والكافر فيقال له: ما كنت تقول في هذا الرجل؟ فيقول : لا أدري، كنت أقول ما يقول الناس، فيقال: لا دريت ولا تليت، ويضرب بمطارق من حديد ضربة، فيصيح صيحة، يسمعها من يليه غير الثقلين . »



This is not something we can memorize in preparation for the questions, because it is not a matter of not knowing, but that we will be incapable of answering as part of the degradation of that life. We know that the answer is the key for the next life, but we cannot use the key. We don’t have access to it because it never entered our hearts in this life. If it did not enter our hearts in this life that Allah is our Lord and that Muhammad is our Prophet and that Islam is our religion, then that knowledge will not benefit us in the next life.



So we are encouraged to visit the graves and on that basis, this is not unique to men, for the benefits that come from visiting the graves is not unique to men. This is why some scholars argue that visiting the graves is not prohibited to women, but that it is the frequent visits that are prohibited, due to the sensitivity of their nature. Hence not regular visits, but to go from time to time as they need the reminder just as men need the reminder.

Allah describes those, in the Quran, who when they reflect on the Hereafter, are affected. It affects them in the nights. "They slept little in the night and in the hours before dawn, they were found seeking Allah’s forgiveness." [Adh-Dharyaat: 17]



{كَانُوا قَلِيلًا مِّنَ اللَّيْلِ مَا يَهْجَعُونَ}



Transliteration: Kanoo qaleelan mina allayli ma yahjaAAoona



They wake up in the night with the remembrance of the life to come — the trials of the grave and the Judgment to come. These lead them to get up from their beds at a time when sleep is so sweet.



Brothers and sisters, let us reflect on that life to come. Let us reflect on the process after death; the process in dying itself — how the souls are taken from the bodies of believers, as the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam said, "...like water dropping from the spout of a bucket."; but for the disbelievers, "...like silk being drawn over thorns.", tearing away. That soul that fears Allah is taken in the next life up into the Heavens and the angels of the Heavens will praise it. It will return to that body and a Garden from Paradise will be opened up to it and it will lie in that state till Resurrection. But for those whose hearts have hardened towards the remembrance of Allah, the soul will be barred entrance into the Heavens. It will be thrown back into the body. Their evil deeds will come before them as a horrible creature and they will suffer torments. A widow from Hell will be open and the heat will be over them until Resurrection.



And what happens on the Resurrection, when we stand before Allah and answer for each and every deed that we have done, when nothing escapes Allah, when the things that we have in this life will be of no benefit to us. The only thing that will benefit us is to stand before Allah with a healthy heart.



The Third Method of Cure: The Qur'an



The third way by which we can soften our hearts is the Quran itself. Allah states in the Quran: "Has not the time come for those who believe for their hearts to fear Allah when they hear the Quran (dhikrullah here is in reference to the Quran) and what truth there is in it, so that they not be like those who received the Scripture before, but in the passage of time, their hearts became hard. And most of them are corrupt." [Al-Hadeed: 16]



{أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ وَلَا يَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلُ فَطَالَ عَلَيْهِمُ الْأَمَدُ فَقَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَكَثِيرٌ مِّنْهُمْ فَاسِقُونَ}

Transliteration: Alam yani lillatheena amanoo an takhshaAAa quloobuhum lithikri Allahi wama nazala mina alhaqqi wala yakoonoo kaallatheena ootoo alkitaba min qablu fatala AAalayhimu alamadu faqasat quloobuhum wakatheerun minhum fasiqoona





If we reflect on the Quran, it has the power to soften our hearts. Allah said, about the jinn who heard the Quran, “They said, "O our people, indeed we have heard a [recited] Book revealed after Moses confirming what was before it which guides to the truth and to a straight path.” [Al-Ahqaf: 30]



{قَالُوا يَا قَوْمَنَا إِنَّا سَمِعْنَا كِتَابًا أُنزِلَ مِن بَعْدِ مُوسَىٰ مُصَدِّقًا لِّمَا بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْحَقِّ وَإِلَىٰ طَرِيقٍ مُّسْتَقِيمٍ}



Transliteration: Qaloo ya qawmana inna samiAAna kitaban onzila min baAAdi moosa musaddiqan lima bayna yadayhi yahdee ila alhaqqi waila tareeqin mustaqeemin



Allah goes on to describe the righteous, "And if they (this is amongst the Christians) hear what was revealed to the Messenger, you will see their eyes welling up with tears because of what they know of the truth of what has been brought." [Al-Maaida: 83]



{وَإِذَا سَمِعُوا مَا أُنزِلَ إِلَى الرَّسُولِ تَرَىٰ أَعْيُنَهُمْ تَفِيضُ مِنَ الدَّمْعِ مِمَّا عَرَفُوا مِنَ الْحَقِّ}



Transliteration: Waitha samiAAoo ma onzila ila alrrasooli tara aAAyunahum tafeedu mina alddamAAi mimma AAarafoo mina alhaqqi



This was the case of the ruler of Ethiopia. When Muslims sought refuge there and they recited a portion of the Quran, they saw his eyes fill with tears.



This is how we should be. When we hear the Quran, we should reflect on the meanings. The Quran should not become for us a replacement for pop songs that we used to hear before. People buy recordings of their favorite reciters for the beauty of their voice… The listening of the Quran has become more of a musical thing. We are entertained by that music, so much so that when the reciter is reading, we hear people in the background going, "Allah! Allah! Allah!" People making statements in the background as thought it were a pop show! This is not the Quran… Allah tells us, "Will they not reflect on the meanings?"



The Quran is a Book of Guidance and it is in the reflection on the meaning of the Quran that we benefit, for it is very important for us to re-assess how we are dealing with the Quran. We should be reading it regularly, not only leaving it until Ramadhan. We reflect on it… not reading it Ramadhan so we can finish the whole Book and say we finished the Quran in Ramadhan. It really does not matter if we don’t finish the Quran in Ramadhan. For most of the Prophet’s Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam life, he did not finish the whole Quran in Ramadhan. Most of the companions did not finish the reading of the Quran in Ramadhan. Today, for us, Ramadhan is not complete unless we read the whole Quran in Ramadhan. We hire reciters to recite the Quran at 99 miles an hour so much so that even Arabic-speaking people cannot figure out where in the Quran the reciter is!



This has become the precedence — finishing the Quran in Ramadhan and if you can finish it twice, even better! But this is not what the Quran is for. The Quran is for reflection, so that when we hear it, as Allah says of the believers who hear the Quran recited, goose bumps come over their skins. It touches them and causes their heart to tremble.



Allah has revealed (from time to time) the most beautiful Message in the form of a Book, consistent with itself, yet repeating (its teaching in various aspects): “Allah has sent down the best statement: a consistent Book wherein is reiteration. The skins of those who fear their Lord tremble threat; then their skins and hearts do soften to the remembrance of Allah”.[Az-Zumar: 23]



{اللَّـهُ نَزَّلَ أَحْسَنَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابًا مُّتَشَابِهًا مَّثَانِيَ تَقْشَعِرُّ مِنْهُ جُلُودُ الَّذِينَ يَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُمْ ثُمَّ تَلِينُ جُلُودُهُمْ وَقُلُوبُهُمْ إِلَىٰ ذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ}



Transliteration: Allahu nazzala ahsana alhadeethi kitaban mutashabihan mathaniya taqshaAAirru minhu juloodu allatheena yakhshawna rabbahum thumma taleenu julooduhum waquloobuhum ila thikri Allahi



If when we listen to the Quran, we don’t find this reaction of tears coming to our eyes, then we should make ourselves cry. Force ourselves to cry because we need to respond to the Quran in this way. If we don’t, we are lost! This is the Word of Allah, the only preserved Word of all the revelations that were given from Adam till now. This is the word of God preserved.



We should read the Quran believing this is Allah speaking to us, because that is what it is. It is Allah talking to us directly. Every time he tells us something about the Jews, we should not (merely) take it as a piece of information, that the Jews are this and that the Jews are that. No! Whenever Allah tells us something about the Jews, we should see in it as a warning to ourselves — that we don’t become like them. When Allah said, "… ghairil maghdoobi ‘alayhim wa la-ddaalleen…" in Surah Al-Fatiha, the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam explained that al-maghdoob ‘alayhim are the Jews and that ad-daalleen are the Christians. Those with whom Allah is angry are the Jews and those who have gone astray are the Christians. Allah is angry with the Jews because they KNOW the truth and they don’t act on it. "Call people to righteousness and you forget yourselves." They changed the Book. The Christians are without knowledge; they are lost. They think that God is a man!



This is a warning to us. Every time we recite these verses, Allah is warning us not to be like them — we have the truth, we have the Scripture, but we are not acting according to them. If we do not seek knowledge, if we do not find out what it is Allah wants from us, then we are lost. Every time we read the "… ghairil maghdoobi ‘alayhim wa la-ddaalleen…", it should touch us. We should reflect on it and it should touch us.



There are so many verses throughout the Quran which remind us of the Hereafter, that remind us of the signs of the Day of Judgement. It is enough for us to open any part of the Quran to read about them. In virtually every chapter of the Quran Allah addresses the next life. It is linked to our second point of visiting the graves and remembering the Hereafter. The Quran speaks about the life to come and to reflect on it.



The Fourth Method of Cure: Good Deeds



The fourth way for us to soften our hearts is by way of good deeds. Righteous deeds done sincerely for Allah will soften our hearts. In the initial stages, maybe we can’t see how it softens our hearts, but we have to stick with it and believe. As the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam told us, that the slave of Allah does not come closer to Him except by doing the deeds that He has made compulsory for him. The compulsory deeds — the 5 daily prayers, the fast, etc. While praying, sometimes we wonder, "Where is the benefit? Where is the change?" The point is that if we keep working at it, there will be benefit. We may not see it immediately. It is something that becomes cumulative, like a person growing. They can hardly wait till they are going to be big and they put a mark on the wall, wondering when they are going to get up there. They cannot perceive themselves growing because it is something accumulating within them.



Similarly, righteous deeds… and the first of the righteous deeds are the one that God commands. It is a mistake to go to the things that He did not command us to do and to put all our focus on these areas and leave the primary things that He commanded us to do. If we have not established 5 times daily prayers on time, then it does not matter whatever else we do. It is useless. This is the foundation — if we cannot do what Allah has commanded us to do, has demanded of us, then how can we please Him in anything else? Then, for us, pleasing God is according to ourselves — what is pleasing to us will please God. This is not pleasing God. We have to remember that the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam told us, «The Hell Fire is veiled by the things that are pleasing to us and Paradise is veiled by the things that we do not like.» [Reported by Muslim]

«حفت الجنة بالمكاره
. وحفت النار بالشهوات »

"Things that we do not like" are not necessarily those things that are evil, but those that our own nafs does not like because they require work and effort. We like the easy way. So we would like not to pray and if someone were to tell us that it is not necessary to pray, we would say "Alhamdulillah!" This is our nature — we would be happy with that. However, we should be sad because we can only pray in this life and in the next, we have no chance to pray anymore. This is where prayer will benefit us, because in the next life, we will want to pray. We will beg Allah. Allah describes those who come before him for judgment: when they see their deeds and they know that they have put themselves in Hell. What will they do? Will they argue with Allah and ask why He has put them in Hell? No, they will ask Allah for another chance to go back and do what Allah has told them to do and more. [see Surah Al-A’raf 7:53] But Allah will know that they are lying for they would do the same if sent back. For if Allah were to send us back, He will not send us back with the knowledge that we have then. He would send us back just as we were before.



Prayer is for OUR benefit. When we pray, we are not benefiting Allah. If every human being on this earth prayed, it would not increase or benefit Allah in any way, just as if nobody prayed, it would not decrease or affect Allah in any way. Prayer is for OURSELVES. That is why the Prophet used to say, «Bilal, give us ease by giving the call to prayer.» [Classified as Saheeh by Albani]



«يا بلال ! أقم الصلاة ، أرحنا بها»



Prayer was considered a time of pleasure but for us it is a burden. The sooner we finish, the better so we can get on with our lives. That is a mistake… Our hearts have become hard.



Allah describes the Jews: after all the signs that were given to them, with the passage of time, their hearts became hard. Our hearts have become hard. We have accepted Islam, we are awakened to Islam and we start to practice Islam, but time has passed and our hearts have become hardened.



"Has not the time arrived for the Believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed to them, and that they should not become like those to whom was given The Book aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their hearts grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors." [Al-Hadid: 16]



{أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ وَلَا يَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلُ فَطَالَ عَلَيْهِمُ الْأَمَدُ فَقَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَكَثِيرٌ مِّنْهُمْ فَاسِقُونَ }



Transliteration: Alam yani lillatheena amanoo an takhshaAAa quloobuhum lithikri Allahi wama nazala mina alhaqqi wala yakoonoo kaallatheena ootoo alkitaba min qablu fatala AAalayhimu alamadu faqasat quloobuhum wakatheerun minhum fasiqoona



Prayer is not something that is pleasurable to us, but we have to keep striving and recognize that this is natural. Iman increases and decreases. The heart hardens and we fight against it and it softens… it is a continual struggle until we die. We just pray that we die with hearts that are soft and fearful. We have to keep struggling and it is in that struggle that ultimately we do taste iman; that we do taste what the salah was prescribed for; what the remembrance of Allah should mean in our lives. The Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam describes those who receive the shade of Allah’s throne on the day when there is no shade: the one who remembers Allah and cries. His heart is soft.



Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, «Allah will give shade, to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His. (These seven persons are) a just ruler, a youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (i.e. worships Allah sincerely from childhood), a man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. to pray the compulsory prayers in the mosque in congregation), two persons who love each other only for Allah's sake and they meet and part in Allah's cause only, a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illicit intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah, a man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity), and a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears.» [Reported by Bukhari]



«سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله: الإمام العادل، وشاب نشأ في عبادة ربه، ورجل قلبه معلق في المساجد، ورجلان تحابا في الله اجتمعا عليه وتفرقا عليه، ورجل طلبته امرأة ذات منصب وجمال، فقال إني أخاف الله، ورجل تصدق، اخفى حتى لا تعلم شماله ما تنفق يمينه، ورجل ذكر الله خاليا، ففاضت عيناه . »



So we should not shy away from good deeds for they will help to soften our hearts. The Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam had said that greeting our brothers or sisters with a smiling face is sadaqa. Nothing should be too small for us: no good deed is so trivial that we scorn at it. We should strive to do every good deed.



But we should begin with the things Allah has made compulsory. We should establish the salah as Allah prescribed it; we have to establish our zakah as it is supposed to be given; we have to fast as it is supposed to be done and the hajj and umrah if we are able. These fundamentals have to be established for the sake of Allah; they provide the foundation for the softening of the heart. As we continue to do these acts and voluntary versions of these acts, we come closer and closer to Allah, until Allah says He becomes the eyes with which we see, where we see only the things that Allah wants us to see. We avoid the things that Allah does not want us to see; we turn away from them; we don’t enjoy them. We only touch the things Allah wants us to touch; we only take what Allah wants us to take; we only go to places that Allah wants us to go… If we turn to Allah and we call on Him He will answer our prayer. This is the promise of the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa sallam.



So my brothers and sisters, I ask you and myself to remember our hearts; to reflect on the state of our hearts. Whenever we have a moment, question: what state are we in? to work on our hearts until we have succeeded in softening them, by the mercy and the grace of Allah. We begin that process by turning to Allah. In our next prayer tonight, let us turn back to Allah and beg him sincerely to soften our hearts and when we do so, if we are sincere, our hearts will begin to soften. It is the promise of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa sallam. We should read the Quran and do as much as we can of righteous deeds. We should reflect on the next life by visiting the graves and by reading the verses addressing them; by reading the statements of the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam about the next life. We should do these things and strive to soften our hearts. As I said before, if after doing them we cannot find softness in our hearts, then we need to make ourselves cry. We need to force ourselves to cry because until we can let go and let loose those feeling within ourselves, then the hearts cannot become soft.



So I pray and I ask Allah to give us all soft hearts, hearts that are filled with mercy for the creating of Allah, our children, our parents, our brothers and sisters in Islam … even those towards people who are not Muslims. I ask Allah to put in our hearts softness towards them in the sense that it would guide us to carry the message to them as we should. I ask Allah to give us success to turn back to the Quran, to read it regularly, seeking understanding and guidance from it and I ask Allah to give us soft hearts.