Thursday, October 6, 2011

She is complaining about her husband’s attachment to the Society for the Promotion of Virtue

 

I am a girl who is married to a religiously committed young man, and I am happy with him, praise be to Allaah. He works with some men from the Society for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. I know that his working with them is regarded as an honour for me and Allaah knows that I am happy when he is able to change some evils. 


But my problem with him is that he is so strongly attached to them. For example, when we go out for a walk, if he sees something bad he follows it until he can contact some men from the Society and they come. If I argue with him about it, he thinks that I do not want to put an end to evil! Allaah knows that that is not true, but I want him to take it easy. Also, what bothers me about this matter is that he speaks to women a lot, and this makes me crazy and makes me jealous when he says that this one was dressed like this and that one looked like that. 


Tell me what I should do, may Allaah reward you with good.

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

Firstly we
congratulate you on your good attitude of being pleased with what your
husband does, which is the work of the Prophets themselves (peace be upon
them), namely enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil, and
calling people to Allaah. 

We advise
you to stand by your husband’s side and encourage him in this work, and not
to have any doubts about him or to feel fed up with what he does.  

With regard
to what he tells you about women, it seems that he is telling you because he
trusts you, and is not telling you in order to upset you, or to express his
admiration for them. Rather he is telling you that in order to inform you of
some of the evil actions that people do, so that you can beware of them, or
so as to get it off his chest. When some people see evil actions, it affects
them deeply, and they need someone to talk to about it so as to get it off
their chests. So you should be aware of that and not let the Shaytaan get to
you with regard to this matter. 

There is no
reason why you should not advise him with regard to the things in which he
is falling short towards you, so long as that is done in the way that is
better and without casting aspersions on his decency and morals. 

Our advice
to the husband is to give his family their rights, and to treat them in a
reasonable manner. He should respect their feelings and not describe women
to his wife; just as a man would not like his wife to describe men to him,
so too a woman does not like her husband to describe women to her. 

He should
avoid speaking too much to women, and restrict it only to what is needed in
order to change the evil or to draw attention to it, etc, because being too
careless and lax about that may lead to bad consequences. And he should
strive to lower his gaze, because looking is one of the arrows of Iblees. 

May Allaah help you both to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah knows best.

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